How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
false alarm. still invincible.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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