somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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