Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
