i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
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