Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
