i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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