yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
