Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
