I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
