I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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