I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
