Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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