I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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