And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
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just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
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Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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