If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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