Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
