if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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