For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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