Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize