If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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