Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize