Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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