if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
