3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
