Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think a kid would responsible me up
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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