Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
