What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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