I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
