Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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