dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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