i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are two peas in an std pod
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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