I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
