i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
