He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
