help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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