I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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