Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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