Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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