The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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