Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Randomize
