This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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