margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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