was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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