thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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