Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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