Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I DEMAND FORESKIN
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
