the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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