the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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