We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
