I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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