Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
