I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
