Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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