I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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