Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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