all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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