Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
