big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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