I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
