We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I have aggressive nipples.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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