break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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