Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
